So real! The best thing one of my mom friends ever did when my kids were young was thank me for my mess. It made her feel better, she said. So now I consider it my duty to all parents to keep a imperfect house. These days I hate to leave dishes, though. Cuz they pile up and the job only gets worse.
I’ve tried swinging on the other side of the pendulum where I also magically don’t see the mess but then I feel the only person it impacts is myself. Or I’ll get told off for not noticing that the sock was on the floor when it took said male atleast 2 days to notice himself.
The solution I’ve come to is that having a cleaner is a non negotiable and I also fully embrace the bare minimum. We don’t fold/iron clothes in my house, the robot vacuum saved my marriage etc.
I will say that I’m strongly considering throwing away all my kids toys if that will save me from cleaning their dragged toy room again
I live in a home like this, I often fantasise about running away and living on my own in my own minimal mess instead of other people’s. But you’re probably right I will just have to wait for the sweet release of death.
This is so relatable! I have just come back from 3 nights away with work and although everyone is still alive (the priority), it appears my husband has waited for the “cleaner” to arrive! So here I am full on into washing, cleaning, deep stain removing from things that have been left too long! The ketchup on the cupboard you refer to is spot on! 😂 Thank you for your perfect timing in writing this xx
I tell my wife that living in our house is a sisyphean effort. I get near the top of the hill (house feeling in a good place) and then I turn around and there's more to do.
I don't hold any ill will toward my family for it, it's just so exhausting, is all.
I did see a quote recently about one day those toys won't be there and the TV won't have fingerprint marks and we'll miss the messes that once drove us mad. And so I've been a little bit kinder to myself about it.
Though a big enough mess throws my ADHD brain into a dysregulation spiral that takes a couple hours to get right.
Exactly this! I have three boys, I walk around saying have you brushed your teeth like they’re doing me a favour. Then have the pleasure of wiping the sink and flushing the toilet 🙄
Love this so much, as it accurately captures ALL the ways that we see and clean up the lovely messes that our children make. My husband never “saw” any of it!
I am so conscious that I am (I should say we are) responsible for raising two boys but how do I raise them to see the mess?
I was a girl who was cleaning the house with my mum when I was probably 10 ish, the incentive was she paid me along with babysitting, the others (brother and sister) would not help or purposefully did a bad job.
I don’t want my sons to lose their childhood in that way like I did but I don’t want to raise boys that turn in to men who put their feet up while their partner cleans.
Oh yes, yes. OMG. I have often considered writing a post about the endless conveyer belt of laundry. How it materialised from thin air after I was sure I’d done it all. My husband keeps saying he’ll do it when I dare to voice any mention of the aforesaid task... to which my brain goes “yes well if we all want to walk around in clothes that have mysteriously all morphed into the same faded grey colour that are all stretched out of shape and creased up like we slept in them for a week...” and the ketchup... always with the ketchup. And how does weetabix dry like cement on the table... loved this. Thank you for writing it ♥️
So real! The best thing one of my mom friends ever did when my kids were young was thank me for my mess. It made her feel better, she said. So now I consider it my duty to all parents to keep a imperfect house. These days I hate to leave dishes, though. Cuz they pile up and the job only gets worse.
It feels good to know I'm not alone 🩶
I’ve tried swinging on the other side of the pendulum where I also magically don’t see the mess but then I feel the only person it impacts is myself. Or I’ll get told off for not noticing that the sock was on the floor when it took said male atleast 2 days to notice himself.
The solution I’ve come to is that having a cleaner is a non negotiable and I also fully embrace the bare minimum. We don’t fold/iron clothes in my house, the robot vacuum saved my marriage etc.
I will say that I’m strongly considering throwing away all my kids toys if that will save me from cleaning their dragged toy room again
I live in a home like this, I often fantasise about running away and living on my own in my own minimal mess instead of other people’s. But you’re probably right I will just have to wait for the sweet release of death.
This is so relatable! I have just come back from 3 nights away with work and although everyone is still alive (the priority), it appears my husband has waited for the “cleaner” to arrive! So here I am full on into washing, cleaning, deep stain removing from things that have been left too long! The ketchup on the cupboard you refer to is spot on! 😂 Thank you for your perfect timing in writing this xx
Hear you on every word of this.
I tell my wife that living in our house is a sisyphean effort. I get near the top of the hill (house feeling in a good place) and then I turn around and there's more to do.
I don't hold any ill will toward my family for it, it's just so exhausting, is all.
I did see a quote recently about one day those toys won't be there and the TV won't have fingerprint marks and we'll miss the messes that once drove us mad. And so I've been a little bit kinder to myself about it.
Though a big enough mess throws my ADHD brain into a dysregulation spiral that takes a couple hours to get right.
Exactly this! I have three boys, I walk around saying have you brushed your teeth like they’re doing me a favour. Then have the pleasure of wiping the sink and flushing the toilet 🙄
Love this so much, as it accurately captures ALL the ways that we see and clean up the lovely messes that our children make. My husband never “saw” any of it!
Oh gosh so much truth in this.
I am so conscious that I am (I should say we are) responsible for raising two boys but how do I raise them to see the mess?
I was a girl who was cleaning the house with my mum when I was probably 10 ish, the incentive was she paid me along with babysitting, the others (brother and sister) would not help or purposefully did a bad job.
I don’t want my sons to lose their childhood in that way like I did but I don’t want to raise boys that turn in to men who put their feet up while their partner cleans.
Oh yes, yes. OMG. I have often considered writing a post about the endless conveyer belt of laundry. How it materialised from thin air after I was sure I’d done it all. My husband keeps saying he’ll do it when I dare to voice any mention of the aforesaid task... to which my brain goes “yes well if we all want to walk around in clothes that have mysteriously all morphed into the same faded grey colour that are all stretched out of shape and creased up like we slept in them for a week...” and the ketchup... always with the ketchup. And how does weetabix dry like cement on the table... loved this. Thank you for writing it ♥️