Manifesting in midlife
Can we bring the impossible into existence through the power of our minds?
A few years ago I fell out (permanently) with a friend because I said I thought manifestation was nonsense. That it didn’t work. That it was bad because it made desperate people feel hopeful for no reason. That nobody could believe that thinking about something could make it happen. We never spoke again. This friend was very successful. I think about her a lot because I wonder if I was wrong.
Regardless, my lack of belief in manifestation led to the end of this friendship. I miss her even though it’s been a long time now not speaking.
On Instagram, I’m targeted non-stop by people who claim that if I just think differently about the future, send out positive energy/vibrate in the right way, then the universe will reward me with limitless possibilities. I bought a book on Audible and have been listening to it at night (I even bought a headband with built in earphones - a cheap one) and fall asleep listening to this book.
I am not naive enough to believe that you can manifest yourself out of any bad situation. I know that there are too many people who suffer for no reason (and how to explain that- that they are just thinking bad things and so they happen?)
I am learning however that it’s important to notice the good things if you are in the position to do so. That it’s important to take care of myself (I knew this of course). Important to be open minded and positive.
To not shut things down (like I did with the manifesting years ago).
I am no expert but I’m willing to try new things if they promise to make me feel better. You can head one way as you age, and become a cynical and grumpy cow, or you can remain open minded.
In a universe where it feels like options are closing down, like society expects you to fail because you’re in midlife, and you’re a woman, then manifestation is a powerful idea. I got busy with my vision board on the weekend. My daughter also made one. We enjoyed the activity in itself, cutting pictures out of Red magazine. Most of my images were of women my age, wearing glasses looking like they meant business. There was a woman laughing (more joy needed please). This vision board isn’t quite how I feel right now. It would perhaps be a picture of Thom Yorke from Radiohead (I always imagine him as being haunted but I may have got it wrong and he’s a happy lad).
It also had a few phrases in it, some plants, a nice kitchen (more space), and a still from ‘Motherland,’ the TV series (one of my goals is to write a comedy series so that is what that element represents). I have been listening to affirmations. I have been re-framing my language. Instead of saying ‘If x happens,’ I have been saying ‘When x happens.’ It’s been making me feel better. The re-framing is especially important as when you’re looking at work opportunities it’s not helpful if you always imagine the worst and take it personally (like sometimes people don’t get in touch because they’re busy rather than the fact that they hate you or have seen your Instagram content and think you’re a fool).
Does it work?
Well it’s too early too tell and I must admit that there are still panic attacks where I am gripped by the reality of being an older woman, responsible for a family income, living in a patriarchy that doesn’t value women like me. Is it making me feel better about these circumstances? Yes. I am not suffering with depression (and I don’t believe that you can think yourself out of serious mental health struggles) but it is helping me open up conversations with people.
The vision board hangs next to the washing stand (draped with 500 pairs of girls pants and leggings usually) and when I wake up I look at the women on the vision board and I think - this is me. This is me now. I then take steps towards making the things happen (this is important as you can’t just wish things into existence). I contact people I know. I think about what people need. I write. I hate the word HUSTLE but that is what it is right now. I plant seeds in as many directions as I can. I am perhaps scatter gun in my approach but I know what I’m working towards. Financial independence. Creativity. A sense of purpose. No longer waking up with bad anxiety. Also smaller things. Some new glasses. A calmer relationship with my older daughter as we are at logger heads on everything right now. A less fitful sleep. My shoulders not hunched up to my ears by the end of each day.
I am sure many will dismiss manifestation as rubbish and the jury is out but right now it is making me feel more positive. I want to call my friend up and see if I can manifest our friendship back together again.
‘I was too quick to dismiss this thing. I’m sorry. I have missed you. Do you want to see my vision board?’
I whisper it into the universe. I wake up in the middle of the night, and the headband headphones have worked their way down across my nose, but I can feel the echo of the hypnotic voice vibrating into my cheeks.
I am open.
I am limitless.
I am full of love.
I am potential.
I am safe.
I am free.
I am.
Can you hear me friend? I am here? I am manifesting. Watch!
I think what people call "manifesting" is just age old "attitude", "intention" and "being open to opportunities". Framing or reframing is important ie don't compare up, compare down. All of this is helpful for me. The words change but its all the same stuff - I try not to be too judgemental although that is hard! I am also a 'middle aged (actually only if I live to be 110), creative mother who is the victim of redundancy, patriarchy, infidelity and all the other @ing 'y's. But I reframe as 'thank god I have brilliant friends who I have invested in over the years, was born in 1969 so I got to have ALL the fun, have really good values, and hurrah I am not dead yet.' I manifest "I will find creative work", "I will not feel ashamed of being alive and in my 50s", "I will do stuff I find fulfilling", "I am still me" AND "I will somehow pay the bills because I have to." That is my intention. Thanks for your words because I love all of your posts and literally ALL of them resonate with me.
Fingers crossed for getting your friendship back! Maybe you should really just call her? There is a high chance she misses you too.