Writing without expectations - is it possible?

Or how to continue writing for the right reasons

I’ve written before about the challenges of not earning a meaningful income from writing. I spent much of my forties trying to ‘make it’ as a writer. I got an agent when I was about 45 and then got a publishing deal with Harper Collins for 2 books and one with Penguin for a non-fiction book and a third with Bookoutre for 2 books. I look back at the manic energy I pumped into writing and I wonder what the heck was wrong with me. Coming to writing relatively late meant that I was trying to make up for lost time. I was also trying to second guess what would be successful. I’d grown up on a diet of chick lit (brilliantly written) and more literary fiction like Irvine Welsh, Martin Amis, and Zadie Smith. I have never plotted a book (for fiction anyway) and instead would sit down, start writing and then see where it took me (and write some rough notes whilst I was going to keep track of characters/names/dates etc.)