Why everyone is coming off Instagram

And how it can be triggering if you're a social media junkie

I woke up this morning feeling peeved off. Possibly hormonal. Some of it family and work related. I was tired. Drained. Exhausted is a good word. I have actually just bought a great book and it’s called ‘Exhausted’ (Anna Katharina Schaffner) and will be reading it this week for some tips on what to do.

It has felt like this month has just been about trying to survive and when Friday comes I feel a momentary cheer, and then it’s Sunday and the cheer has evaporated because the whole shebang is kicking of again. The sports, Brownies, work zooms, running from this to that.

Cold, dark, no sun, not much cash.

When you’re feeling down then you already have a negative bias and it’s hard to kick this to the curb. Damn the trees are blowing in the wind too hard this morning. The cat’s fur is sticky from something it’s rolled around in. There is mess everywhere. In fact there are chicken bones that have appeared on the doormat (cat has got into food recycling and this is the source of its sticky tail).

It’s hard to find things to feel good about. Bleak. Like a BBC TV drama from the 70s. Colours are all a bit brown.

I’m obviously addicted to my phone and Instagram in particular draws me in. Not addicted like some people are (the people I see on the train on my way to work who hold the phone up whilst they’re walking so they don’t miss anything, then continue doing this as they exit the tube, not even looking up for a second). I still have some eye-free time when I can look at grey clouds and a pigeon’s leg hanging off the net of a shop sign as I breeze past.

Funnily enough when I’m on, I rarely check my own stats or how many people have viewed my content. I get an idea, put it up there and then run away. Sometimes people will tell me something is popular, and then I go and have a look. I don’t understand why some reels are more popular than others. I have a big ego so I just like to share my thoughts, and get some kind of validation from the outside world. Like a child. A giant middle aged child. It’s like when you were at school and would try and breakdance in front of your mates, and maybe you’d succeed in doing a 360 spin on your back, and other days you’d just end up face planting on the hard floor. The thrill was never knowing what might happen. I know some of you will be thinking - FUCK OFF, of course you get upset if nobody likes your posts, but I don’t, not much. I get upset if someone says something mean. I’ve had a few of these messages (usually about my lack of political awareness or fact that I don’t broadcast my opinion on news events - though why people should assume I am an expert on these matters is beyond me) but most of the time it’s fairly mild.

I do scroll more than I’d like. I wake up and it starts. Through the make up tutorials, health and wellness tips, life coaches, funny dances, ‘get ready with me’ fashion reels, retreat ads, and then more recently…posts from influencers saying - ‘I am just writing to say that I am coming off Instagram. I’m leaving with a heavy heart because I am really going to miss you guys.’ And then usually quite a long justification as to why they’re doing so. ‘I’m so sorry to be leaving this wonderful place but just feel the need to be doing something more useful with my time. My publicist/PR will be posting stuff about my books/fashion empire/successful life in my absence.’

These posts make me grumpy for a couple of reasons- first up- if you want to leave, then just leave. Also don’t remind us that we’re all sad shits swimming around in a morass of heavily processed food. Don’t rub our noses in it. We’re saps and we know it! Maybe one day we’ll get our own publicists and they can post on our behalf whilst we glide around and have masses amounts of time to stare at walls and pick chicken bones off the cats tail.

These declarations are in effect another form of humble brag. I am in fact so busy being creative that I’m leaving you chumps to buy Boden tops and watch army vets being reunited with their pets. So long suckers!

Okay I admit I’m grumpy. Really grumpy. I have been sulking for about 24 hours and nobody in my family has noticed. I mean I literally haven’t said a word and nobody has noticed at all. It made me realise how little anyone notices my real life and what I say or do. If I wear my hair up or down. Or put on a red lip. Or crack a joke. This is probably why Instagram appeals to me as people notice me and give me validation. I know how the whole thing works.

So today I bring this grumpy vibe to those who are leaving social media.

The thing is that when people leave the ole gram, I’m triggered. Triggered because I know that I’m addicted to it and can’t leave. I’m not on it all day BUT I do tend to check it several times, possibly spending about 5-10 minutes at a time on it. I usually do this when I am in the middle of doing something else.

So making a cup of coffee (leaving kettle boiling, then cooling, forgetting what I’m doing), or when I’m waiting for the kids to come out of school (someone next to me maybe thinking I’m rude as I haven’t struck up a conversation). Little pockets of time. It maybe adds up to about an hour. Though my phone says it’s actually three hours.

THREE HOURS! JEEEZZ!

I’d argue however that these pockets of time aren’t useful for much else apart from staring. Or nodding and saying hello to strangers. Or reflecting on my age and how I can’t believe how old I am. Or the fact that I might have nits because my scalp keeps itching and even saying NITS is making me itch whilst I type this.

The main thing I guess (and this is what people who leave are usually saying) is that I don’t always feel good after I’ve been scrolling. The feelings are usually:

I want to buy something

I want to strangle this person

I am not enough

Then occasionally I find some content (animal related, usually an animal coming home or finding a new home after being abused), and it will fill my heart with joy and give me a little burst of positivity. There are good people who save dogs and re-home them. The negative bias loosens up a bit and life feels more positive.

Now I must address the nits and the mushed up chicken on the mat.

Because I like this kind of dog content, my IG is now showing me 85% dogs coming home/dogs being washed and blow dried, and I’m also getting a bit of fashion as I like that too (one or two influencers who always know my taste because I’ve taught them what I like). So in essence the field of vision on IG is getting narrower each day (so narrow that I don’t actually know that the person that is leaving Instagram isn’t posting anymore) until eventually my feed will just be dogs wearing Sezanne sweatshirts.

My point is that Instagram is addictive. And yes there are better things to do with time. I know that too. Just leave me here drooling like a fool and absorbing dog content. If you want to come off then don’t feel the need to explain why. Or how bad you feel about it. We all wish you well.

Just close the door when you leave and be free. Talk to your neighbour. Stare at the grey sky. Get those nits sorted. Clean the mush from the mat.

I’ll still be scrolling through dog content when you return.