The pressure to be fun and hedonistic

Or how to navigate those tricky times when you're sober and the only one who is

Do you ever watch people having fun and feel a bit lonely? Do you look at those old paparazzi shots of Kate Moss hanging out of a backstage area smoking a fag and wonder if you’ve truly abandoned yourself in that way? (I am pretty sure she knew the cameras were out there and had to be ‘on brand’). I grew up with fun women in the media. Zoe Ball. Sarah Cox. Amy Winehouse. Kate Moss. The ladette culture. I am lumping all these people in but there was a certain time in history where every tabloid led with a story about women going out and having big fun. In pubs. In clubs. In bars. In groups. With rock star or DJ boyfriends.

When I reflect on my life I feel like I have never been sufficiently fun. Or a certain definition of fun anyway.