Parenting a tween

How it's all about change and hormones and how to manage them (for both of us)

It’s true when people say that each stage of motherhood brings a different challenge. When my daughter was a baby, I found it stressful as she couldn’t articulate what she wanted, and I often felt like an interpreter trying to understand what it was she needed. Now she’s a tween and I recognise the coming of the teenage years. The need for distance. The fact that everything I do infuriates her. Sudden and dramatic meltdowns. The struggle is real. I don’t know what to do. If I speak quietly she tells me not to scream at her. If I try and walk away to give her space she says I don’t love her. It’s hard to get the right balance. A dance between being close but also giving her space. Also not projecting too much fear (this is hard for me as I’m quite a fearful person). I know that we are similar and that the things that drive me mad about her are the things that drive me mad about myself. At the same time she is far more confident. She is not me. She loves roller coasters. She loves sports. At the same age I was awkward and dorkish (not in a good way). A bit eccentric (I might have even had a teddy bear that I clung to each day). She’s far more outgoing. Sassy. Knows the lyrics to songs that I’ve never heard of. I can see she is starting to get interested in boys. It’s painful realising that she will go through all the trials of love and lust, and I can’t fast forward her straight into being able to spot the losers and time wasters. It’s like I want to stick my 50- something year old head onto her body so I can protect her from painful experiences. but this would be sad as she’d be jaded and cynical about love (as I think I am, I know I am).