Insomnia in midlife

How I've been struggling with sleep of late

I used to suffer a lot with insomnia. This was primarily during the years when I was going through IVF. Then when I finally became pregnant I didn’t sleep at all. Then children arrived, and of course sleep was broken again. I feel like I haven’t slept for about fifteen years now. Not properly anyway. Both girls didn’t sleep very much. Both were early risers. I am now in a pattern where I automatically wake up at 5.45am no matter what time I’ve been to bed. When there’s a lot of change going on, I have a real tendency to worry, and these worries manifest themselves at night. I think about how maybe this freelancing thing won’t work out. How I won’t be able to pay the bills. How my daughter has a big birthday coming up, and it always costs so much to do a small party gathering and presents. And all the autumn activities need paying for too. I have to remind myself that this time last year I felt pretty miserable because I was working in a market research agency that felt suffocating at times. The ONE advantage (apart from a couple of really lovely people) was the regular income.